here i am, all of me, take my life, it's all for thee

Nothing good comes easily. You have to lose things you thought you loved, give up things you thought you needed. You have to get over yourself, beyond your past, out from under the weight of your future. The good stuff never comes when things are easy. It comes when things are all heavily weighted down pressing on you. It comes just when you think it never will, like a traveler in the desert you crave water you see it everywhere in everything possible your mind plays tricks on you but finally there is a stream, a blessing that rose up from that dry empty stretch and the cold water replenishes you, bringing you back to life.
So to is this with Jesus, so many days we spend in the desert of our soul, searching for something to replenish our broken hearts. The desperation, the pure longing to feel something to feel rejuvenated; one looses themselves in the world, in the alcohol, the drugs, the skipping class, staying out late, the bending the rules type. Or maybe you find yourself lost in something else, the popularity, the clothes, the makeup, you cover your self up to be so beautiful on the outside while your heart is completely broken on the inside. This is the desert of life, when you trek miles in the sand and maybe once these things satisfy maybe once they give a glimpse of belonging, but nothing, no nothing can compare to the sense of belonging that is found in Christ Jesus.
I feel that life is two fold; for some time I found myself consumed in the day to day kind of life, the make breakfast do the dishes, check facebook, go to class, live on a schedule but I feel that just underneath all the demands is a sacred beauty like a rainbow overtaking the sky after a peaceful rain. In the midst of the pressure of the stress something special that weaves within the same old thing, like a beautiful sunrise, the love of a good friend, a text message that brightens your heart, a great book, the perfect song, a brand new shirt, a bird chirping in the mid morning simply reminds you that although homework is real there is so much more that is real to. The sacred mixes in with daily life like when you do something courageous or you truly see your heart changing I mean its still a normal day but God speaks to us through these small glimpses of joy of beauty we just need to open our eyes to them.
Hope and redemption and change are real they are tangible and happening all around, I can honestly say I have wasted so many days of my life reflecting upon the pain of my past. It knocks at the door and so seemingly I let it in. Day after day carrying around pointless heartbreak and disappointment its easy to think of the downsides of life the large pile of homework waiting on your desk, not getting a call back from a friend, eating to much food, I love the sun way to much and I will get wrinkles probably at a young age, I am scared for my future and it leaves me questioning my day to day decisions, but we cant fear the unknown for hope and change arise. Don’t miss life focusing on what you can not change love the gift of life, being angry doesn’t change them. No it is impossible to change what has happened to you or mebut what we have is today, and today is a gift, and if we get tomorrow, then tomorrow is a gift.
It is so easy to be miserable and unhappy, but do what you can to create hope. Choose joy, choose to love the life you live. Sure you can just live a normal life waiting on something big, but today just plain old today the homebrand food and walking everywhere ywam life of today is a gift and it is worth it. I believe it is our job to live each day like it’s a special occasion because were given this gift, we get to live in this beautiful world. Get up and dance instead of sitting down, laugh when you want to cry, hug when you want to fight, smile when all you can do is frown; this life is a gift. God placed you here to be and fight and pursue and succeed, open this gift and do it.

there is no one else for me.

[there is no one else for me, none but Jesus; crucified to set me free, now i live to bring him praise.]

this week we focused on the kingdom of God and truly it revealed a part of my heart i knew was there but was finally surfaced. It's crazy, for days i sit baffled at what God did for us, the true beauty of christianity and this kingdom. Honestly, think for a second; jesus was crucified, died to set us free and he asks nothing of us but to simply be filled with his unconditional love. Were so blessed, like here we go off to do and live life and get so consumed in our day to day schedules, our "to-do" list society and we forget to invite God in, into his own kingdom? its funny really. As christians we want to make the world a defined place. Where it is evident that we have something different, we posses a unique joy, because we do, we have the gift of eternity of salvation. I want to go into the mall or to school or to a normal place on the street and have my life look different to others, that they turn and say "i want what they have" that connection with God, that oneness with the creator.

God is teaching me things in waves, in crashes of water rolling into the soft shore. its all so powerful like a big wave and each week i gain more and more insite to God and it builds and builds and by the weekend it comes crashing in and i break, and its beautiful because for once i am not placing the pieces back together, but it's God reorganizing my heart, its painful, and sometimes i hate it, but when its all said and done, i feel renewed. Then the wave rolls out and it begins again, its consumes and replenishes.
the ocean is a powerful thing and a good comparison to God. its big and scary and it is filled with so many unknowns. the water is salty and can leave you feeling like a salty potatoe chip for hours after a quick swim. its beautiful and breathtaking and its used for many things; swimming, boating, surfing, fishing....and on and on. God's love is big and at times scary and is filled with many unknown things that make it all the more desirable all the more ready to go head on and full force. it leaves you with a long lasting impression and once you get a taste you just can not get enough, and you just want to dive in.

summer is slowly approaching here and it is beautiful. the sights and sounds and things of australia are breathtaking. i had a few breathtaking moments this week. on monday's we go to mooloolaba to evangelize; kale and i got the opportunity to talk with a man for an hour or so just about life and God and kale prayed over him as we parted ways and tears overtook his being. Here we sat with a stranger we knew for an hour and the words of God brought us to such a complete relationship. God's love wipes away any simple skepticisms the world holds, it didnt matter what we had in common to the world, we had jesus and everything comes together with jesus. on wed. we had lectures and were given the opportunity to write anything we wanted to surrender to God on a sheet of paper and nail it to the cross. It hit me hard, harder than i imagined things i didnt realize i held onto, it was so assuring to give it to God, put it in his hands.

i wish i had the correct words to explain all that God is doing, but it goes beyond a simple word or phrase, this song in church struck my heart it goes "there is no one else for me, none but jesus; crucified to set me free, now i live to bring him praise." there is no one else for me, this i learn each day, all we need is jesus. he was crucified to set us free, let us live our lives to bring him praise.

devotion i wrote: a gentle rain.

--> The riskiest things always yield the best, most beautiful things. Failure, loosing yourself, falling face first with nothing left. That’s when it seems God finds us, dusts us off and puts us back on our feet. I feel that when the worst of things happen a gentle rain falls from above, as if it is God’s peaceful way of saying, your clean my child it is all washed away in me, just have faith. When the road gets dark and you can no longer see just have a little faith in me. I feel that every life tells a story, through words and actions and choices, through our homes and our children, through our friends and our clothes and dishes and perfume. We each play a character in a grand drama, and every stage direction matters. We tell our stories, and let God’s story be told through our stories. We hide and we seek and we lose ourselves in the best possible way, and find things around us and inside ourselves we never expected. See that’s the beauty of life, what holds as important is not simply the final destination but the journey that led you there. It is our past, present and future that is the general make-up for who we are today and what gives us the full reign to change who we will become tomorrow. We hold the key to change but getting it is never easy. Patience causes us to fall off track and go to other things as a sence of enjoyment of fulfillment. Saying no to what use to bring us joy and changing is one of the hardest virtues in life. Everyone would like to change something about them but only few people are strong enough, bold enough, willing to say no, willing to give up a peace of them of what they were use to. We are so selfish in this world, we want and we want and we want. And then when we want from God, we are not willing to meet halfway we expect him to completely transform our heart as we sit there sacrificing nothing. This phrase keeps coming to mind, actions speak louder than words. Don’t get caught saying your hopes and dreams, your aspirations if you are not willing to alter your actions as hopes of getting there. Sure its painful, its hard it’s a risk but even the days that you feel so bogged down, broken, overburdened with the demands of life God steps in and sends a gentle rain that cleanses everything.

seeing God.

know God and make him know n.

i am in australia and God is rocking my world. i look outside and see the shining sun and immediatly get consumed in his goodness. It is hard to even explain the many emotions that have overtaken my body this week. i live in a house with ten girls and share a garage with five of them. it currently flooded and all our clothes got wet, we had to shut off our water and if it is on shower time is limited to none. i smell of ocean and taste like salt and i love it. my ipod broke and no internet is in our house, my cell phone doesnt work and when we are at the church internet works on occasion and its wonderful. God is taking the things i once thought was important and limiting me to nothing, or in reality to all i need, HIM. classes started monday and this week is really orientation, getting the hang of things and how it all works, but we had a night worship that left me forever changed. Everyone sat on one side of the room all holding rocks. a line seperating us from the other side. a chair in the front of the room we walked up one by one and shared our testimonies. pouring our hearts out to people we have known for only a few days, going up sitting there exposing all your secrets all your insecurities and when finished you put the rock in the bucket and cross over to the other side; leaving all your past, all your sins behind. and crossing over to the freeness, to the immense power and forgiveness of God. it was incredible, being here is incredible. God is what we eat for breakfast, and consume for dinner, he is everywhere and in everything and the meaning and validity of life here can not be explained in words. i hope to update more often, but for now know how much i am praying for all of you and feel honored to be here to be able to share God's love. we had this metaphore refering to the evangelism were going to be starting. they said lets say your throwing a party and your using tickets as means of getting the word out and inviting people, you would do all you could to get them to everyone to have the biggest most wonderful party possible. but once the party arrives lets say your still left with millions of tickets, millions of people left uninvited, how lame would that be, how sad would you feel and dissappointed at the turnout. same is with God, with salvation. heaven is a party and we have to get the word out INVITE EVERYONE. we as christians as followers of God hold the tickets, lets invite everyone.