here i am, all of me, take my life, it's all for thee

Nothing good comes easily. You have to lose things you thought you loved, give up things you thought you needed. You have to get over yourself, beyond your past, out from under the weight of your future. The good stuff never comes when things are easy. It comes when things are all heavily weighted down pressing on you. It comes just when you think it never will, like a traveler in the desert you crave water you see it everywhere in everything possible your mind plays tricks on you but finally there is a stream, a blessing that rose up from that dry empty stretch and the cold water replenishes you, bringing you back to life.
So to is this with Jesus, so many days we spend in the desert of our soul, searching for something to replenish our broken hearts. The desperation, the pure longing to feel something to feel rejuvenated; one looses themselves in the world, in the alcohol, the drugs, the skipping class, staying out late, the bending the rules type. Or maybe you find yourself lost in something else, the popularity, the clothes, the makeup, you cover your self up to be so beautiful on the outside while your heart is completely broken on the inside. This is the desert of life, when you trek miles in the sand and maybe once these things satisfy maybe once they give a glimpse of belonging, but nothing, no nothing can compare to the sense of belonging that is found in Christ Jesus.
I feel that life is two fold; for some time I found myself consumed in the day to day kind of life, the make breakfast do the dishes, check facebook, go to class, live on a schedule but I feel that just underneath all the demands is a sacred beauty like a rainbow overtaking the sky after a peaceful rain. In the midst of the pressure of the stress something special that weaves within the same old thing, like a beautiful sunrise, the love of a good friend, a text message that brightens your heart, a great book, the perfect song, a brand new shirt, a bird chirping in the mid morning simply reminds you that although homework is real there is so much more that is real to. The sacred mixes in with daily life like when you do something courageous or you truly see your heart changing I mean its still a normal day but God speaks to us through these small glimpses of joy of beauty we just need to open our eyes to them.
Hope and redemption and change are real they are tangible and happening all around, I can honestly say I have wasted so many days of my life reflecting upon the pain of my past. It knocks at the door and so seemingly I let it in. Day after day carrying around pointless heartbreak and disappointment its easy to think of the downsides of life the large pile of homework waiting on your desk, not getting a call back from a friend, eating to much food, I love the sun way to much and I will get wrinkles probably at a young age, I am scared for my future and it leaves me questioning my day to day decisions, but we cant fear the unknown for hope and change arise. Don’t miss life focusing on what you can not change love the gift of life, being angry doesn’t change them. No it is impossible to change what has happened to you or mebut what we have is today, and today is a gift, and if we get tomorrow, then tomorrow is a gift.
It is so easy to be miserable and unhappy, but do what you can to create hope. Choose joy, choose to love the life you live. Sure you can just live a normal life waiting on something big, but today just plain old today the homebrand food and walking everywhere ywam life of today is a gift and it is worth it. I believe it is our job to live each day like it’s a special occasion because were given this gift, we get to live in this beautiful world. Get up and dance instead of sitting down, laugh when you want to cry, hug when you want to fight, smile when all you can do is frown; this life is a gift. God placed you here to be and fight and pursue and succeed, open this gift and do it.